Developmental Editing Samples 

I will enhance your writing and bring your words to life!

Sample # 1 - Before Edits

 

The bride:

I remember our first date! My hands and feet were sweating, and I became a sweaty mess. There was something about the feeling that let me know there were good things to come. From our first date, our first kiss, to our first trip to Cali; We shared our first plane ride together and had many other firsts. I can say that I found someone just like me, who has been raised by amazing parents and surrounded by awesome friends.As we stand here today, I recognize that I have gone from one caring home to another; a place where I'll continue to feel loved, respected, and appreciated every day. Now we share our first home together. I look forward to many more firsts together.

Today I can say that I have had MY favorite first with you. Today I marry the man of my dreams and begin the first day of the rest of my life with you. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I've called you mine for a long time and I promise to hold you as number one in my heart. I promise to love you, to be faithful to you, to be your partner and to always be your friend. I thank you for loving me and I will always appreciate you. With our family and friends by our side, I promise you forever!

Sample #1 - After

Crystal

I remember our first date. My hands and feet were sweating. I was a sweaty mess! Surprisingly, there was something special about being sweaty on that day. For me, it was a sign of good things and many more firsts to come.

While we were dating, he had stolen my heart. Since the first date and the first kiss, I looked forward to marrying the man of my dreams and spending the rest of my life with him. On my wedding day, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. I promised to love him, to be faithful to him, to be his partner and his best friend. Those promises still ring true today.

Sample #2 - Before Edits

The groom

It was our wedding day and to my surprise, I was calm.  I hadn’t been nervous for more than a week.  I think I was more concerned about the guest list, or forgetting my vows than I was about the actual wedding. Honestly, because of all that had happened leading up to our special day, I think we were both just relieved that it had finally come.  I had been through a couple of best men, lost one of my groomsmen amongst other things, but none of that mattered.  It was the happiest day of my life; I was marrying my best friend. As I held my place at the end of the aisle at our venue awaiting to receive my soon to be bride, I tried to image what she would look like.  I stood there calmly watching for her to make her grand entrance.  The music began playing and my emotions immediately bombarded me.  The tears that I had not anticipated made a grand appearance just moments before my bride.  When I saw Crystal come into the door way, her beauty exceeded all of my expectations.

Sample #2 - After

Terrance

As I reflect on our wedding day, I was considerably calm. Honestly, I think we both were relieved that our day had finally come. My only concern was forgetting my wedding vows. At the last minute, one of the groomsmen dropped out of the wedding, but it didn't matter; I was marrying my best friend. 

Crystal, I can remember standing at the end of the aisle waiting for you to make your grand entrance. As I stood there, I tried to imagine what you were going to look like in your wedding gown. The moment I saw your face, your beauty exceeded all of my expectations. As the music played and you walked towards me, tears began to flow. It was, by far, the happiest day of my life!

Sample #3 - Before Edits

Marriage was something that I never wanted. I had one child at sixteen years of age. It changed my whole perspective on life, love and marriage. I had seen my mother and father struggle in their marriage, and I wanted no part of that--no more kids either, I was done. Football and school were all I wanted from then on out. Then I saw there was an opportunity for me to be with a young lady that I had admired from afar since we both were young. We grew up in the same neighborhood. Her little brother and I were friends. She had come back home from college for the summer, and I wanted to get to know her better. I'd hoped that it didn't matter that I was still in high school. She was the full package: brains, glasses, foundation in the Word, and filled out, lol. That's all I had asked God for in a mate. We got reacquainted over the summer and to my delight she was all that I had asked for and more. I began going to church and developing my own relationship with Christ. Life was exciting; I was experiencing things and going places that I had never been before. She was learning that was possible to flourish even when the situation wasn't ideal. We were learning from each other and loving on each other. For a while things were great. Then a change came…

 

Sample #3 - After

Marriage was something I never wanted. I had already fathered one child by the time I was sixteen years old. Fatherhood had changed my entire perspective on life, love, and marriage. Because I had seen my mother and father struggle in their marriage, I wanted no part of it. I didn't want more kids neither - one was enough for me! My primary focus was going to be on football and school - or, so I thought.

I had admired a young woman from afar, whom I had known since we were younger. As a matter of fact, we grew up in the same neighborhood, and her younger brother and I were friends. One summer, she had come home from college, and I wanted to get to know her better. I had hoped that it wouldn't matter if I was still in high school.

 

To me, she was the full package; she was smart, she wore eyeglasses, and she had a strong foundation in the Word of God. She was full-figured too. In fact, she was everything I had asked God for in a mate. I started going to church, and began to develop my own relationship with Christ. At the time, life was exciting for me. I had experienced new things and went to places I had never been before.

 

While attending church, one of the lessons we learned together was,  it was possible to flourish even if the situation wasn’t an ideal one. We loved each other, and we were able to learn from one another. For a while, our relationship was doing great, then things began to change.

 

 

©2019 by Trudi Batiste.